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since 04.04.2000

Click here for Yorks MAG site

The 14th Farmyard Party.

23rd - 25th June 2000

A few pictures from the bike show can be seen here

Managed to get Nigel away from the house by 11:30 - only half an hour late.. he's getting better! Called in on the way to collect Dave and Eddie and were on our way by midday.

Another very windy ride! 170 miles of gale force cross-winds made for an interesting journey - it definitely stopped the motorway from becoming boring.

After navigating what has to be one of the worst entry tracks to a rally, we got on site about 4pm. It looked to be a much bigger rally than last year - we didn't arrive then until after 7pm, and there were already way more people this year by the time we arrived.

Instead of giving a MAG discount at the gate, Yorks MAG give out 3 vouchers from the MAG tent if you let them punch a hole in your MAG card, which are redeemable on MAG merchandise and in the beer tent.

After collecting our tokens we picked up a pair of Farmyard T-shirts. I had one last year, wear it all the time, and it's the only T-shirt I haven't managed to burn a hole in with my roll-ups, so at 7 they're a bit of a bargain.

There was a large stage with an open air arena for musicky people near the large beer tent, as well as a blues tent with another bar down by the MAG tent. I've no idea what either of these were like, as I didn't make it to either one of them. Both areas were packed all weekend, so they couldn't have been to bad. Ask Nigel if you want to know what bands were on.

All I heard was that some wench got her kit off in the Blues Tent and did a bit of lap-dancing - although we still think it was Olwyn and she doesn't remember!

I managed to disgrace myself on Friday night by throwing up after four cans of Co-op lager - right in front of everyone in the toilet queue! I reckon Dave & Eddie must have spiked my rolling tobacco!

Saturday morning turned up (as it does, after Friday). Everyone was queueing for breakfast, but didn't realise that the Chinese & Indian stall was doing bacon rolls as well, so we didn't have to wait!

After breakfast and multiple cups of coffee, we had a raz out to Scarborough. Had a bit of a wander round, looking at all the touristy tat shops. Found one strange one - all the usual souvenirs, toys and joke-stuff you'd expect, then at the back of the shop was a display case filled with whips and battery-powered sex-toys! They even had one in the shape of a giant cucumber! Weird.

After Scarborough, we thrashed up the coast road to Whitby to get some food. Ollies favourite pub had managed to run out of fish (in Whitby? How can you run out of fish?), so we had a walk across the bridge to find a cafe, where we spotted a comedy-photo opportunity! Actually, this is what Nigel really looks like under the makeup!

Got back to the site, where even more people had turned up! Managed to find the tents - the flag pole was a great idea, but we were camped in a dip, so you couldn't see it until you were almost there anyway.

It's definitely getting a bit crowded! And it looks like most people can't read!

By this time, we realised we'd missed the bike show, so I scooted up to the main field to get a few pictures of the remains.

Saturday night was an improvement - I managed to not throw up this time! A bit more shopping, food (excellent toasted sandwiches!) and a few beers, then chilled out by the tents with a campfire.

Sleeping wasn't the easiest task in the world - the Farmyard seems to attract people who spend all night either testing the rev-limiter on their bikes (still don't get this, unless it's someone elses bike!) or launching what could be fireworks, but sounds more like heavy artillery!

Olly and Nigel were a bit difficult to shift on Sunday - this is what happens when you stay up past 4am!

Eddie was struck down by a nasty case of munchies! Luckily, he's had the foresight to pack a bowl of shreddies, just in case! (Perhaps this is a regular occurrence?)

Managed to catch Dave being girlie - brushing his teeth, no less! See what happens when you have girlie hair!

Dave got a bit distressed when he realised he'd been caught!

The exodus started early - due largely, I think, to the state of the toilets on the Sunday morning. However, the public loo's in nearby Helmsley were terrific! Loads of loo paper, hot water and soap, and you didn't have to look at anyone elses turds!

Ok, time for me to get into Bod mode - a few moans!

I wonder about people, and whether they ever use they're brains for anything other than stopping their ears from meeting in the middle. Here we are, at a 'bike-only' rally - this means that almost everyone has come by bike - and there's glass bottles left all over the field!!! Not just in the arena bit, but all down the track through the site. Everyone there must appreciate what a bastard a puncture is on a bike - not many people carry spares on two wheels, and it's rare to see a trike with one. Also, bike tyres can't always be repaired, and they're FUCKING expensive!!! The Farmyard is one of the few rallies where glass is allowed on site - it's obvious why other venues don't allow it, if people aren't responsible enough to look after their own interests!

Second moan - campfires. The Farmyard is the only large rally I know where you can have a campfire - they even provide the wood for you. Again, it's obvious why other sites don't allow it - Nigel and Olwyns tent got covered in holes by the MORONS camped behind us. These sub-humans had set their fire plenty far enough from their tent - right next to Olly & Nigels!

I don't care how wasted you get - THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR BEING A BASTARD! We had a fire in between our tents from Saturday afternoon right through until the early hours of the morning - we even left a completely wasted Dave & Eddie in charge when we went to the main part of the site to get food - and didn't even burn the BCMAG flag! (The fire was in between the guy ropes of the flag pole!)

I really enjoyed the Farmyard the first time we went, and was looking forward to it again. However, a few inconsiderate scum tend to take the enjoyment out of the weekend. I might go next year, but I'll be fireproofing my tent, and armour plating my tyres!

On a nicer note - we managed to meet up with Chris from Wakefield, who had signed the BCMAG Guestbook. Each time we saw him, he looked like he was getting over a very good time! He assures me his face isn't always that green shade!